Older Couples

Sex Relationship and the older couple

Our generation of baby boomers will have longer and better lives. Our responsibility is not only to grow old well, but also to turn this experience into something good and happy.

The most recent findings 2012 from English Longitudinal study of ageing at University College London, have found that older people who are happier live longer with less disability and stay physically well longer into older age. They also found that older people in a close relationship or married are healthier and live longer.

We spend our twenties and thirties grounding ourselves, sexually. Then that ground starts to shift in our forties and fifties and for many of us a major landslide begins in our sixties and seventies. Our bodies, sexual responses and relationships begin changing and don't always work the way they used to.



With self- knowledge, creativity,good communication, and a sense of humour, we can roll with the changes and make the earth move again. Sex might not feel or look the way it did when our hormone rush propelled us into jet-stream sex, but it can be highly arousing and satisfying.

"The things that stop you enjoying sex in old age are the same things that stop you riding a bicycle: bad health, thinking it is silly and no bicycle". Alex Comfort, The joy of sex.
Comfort gets it pretty right. While we are getting over our hang ups about sex in old age , bad health can derail even the most active and enjoyable of love lives.

Sex does change as we age and that is the good news. Performance anxieties and many common problems occur far more frequently in the young than  those in old age. Men and women are still vital, alive and sexy at 50, 60, 70 and 80 years old
and beyond; they're sexually confident and experienced too. As long as we don't lose our zest for life we don't lose our lust for lovemaking either.

Staying together
It might be that you can't wait for the kids to move out, and to retire so you can get back back to romantic strolls on the beach  and love making in the afternoon. If so, enjoy it! But for a lot of couples, the transition they go through as they approach retirement age can put a real strain on their realtionship.
Its's hard to be just a couple again when you're used to being parents, and many find the concentrated time at home after retirement is difficult, rather than romantic.

Relationships are key to a happy later life, but it can also be a time when some relationships come to an end.
Many couples find the transition points around retirement and children leaving home very difficult and divorce rates are on the increase for the over 60's. Naturally, this is also a time when people suffer bereavement and face the prospect of living their later life without their partner.

New relationships
Retirement provides a great opportunity to discover new things and new people.
It might be that you're ready for a new relationship , or you might just be looking to widen your circle of friends.

Family ties
Family can be one of the biggest joys of later life, but it can also present some complex issues.
For many the arrival of a first grandchild is a wonderful occasion, but you may find yourself acting as a second parent, whilst also caring for other members of your family

© 2013 Colin Holt